I think I have dating PTSD if I’m gonna keep it a buck
Every time I like someone new, my head tell my heart “I wish you luck”
Never had someone to lean on like I needed a double cup
My relationships kept stalling out like I couldn’t work the clutch
I had this one girl who said I had too many hoes
I’m like baby these aren’t hoes, these just friends from long ago
But she wasn’t trying to hear it so she left my texts on read
And if looks could kill, last time I saw her she would have shot me in the head
I had this stupid little crush, she did theatre and such
I was patient with her, waiting on her to open the fuck up
She was shy, I’m like that’s fine. We don’t need to rush
Should have known she had issues when she wanted to leave every time her ex showed up
Telling me about her issues with a bunch of different niggas
I could tell that my plans wasn’t aligned with her, I could figure
She officially let me know, and I charged it to the game
I could lie and say she meant a lot, but my life ain’t really changed
I apologize to the women who wanted more from me than I could give
I tried not to lead anyone on, but I still apologize if I did
I never tried to claim anyone who wasn’t mine
But to say I never thought about them from time to time? I’d be lying
Looking back on how a couple women had me sprung
I should cuss every woman out who made me go north on 71
Them damn Leo’s will rip your heart out just for fun
Made me feel like I got robbed and they didn’t even have a gun
Their personalities was a reminder to never do any dope
Because I became addicted to them, the things I would do for another dose
Like going back and forth on 71 just for a day
Or that 4am dummy mission to see you before you left for MIA
These are things I’m embarrassed to admit, I don’t do well with vulnerability
It’s like I been building this brick wall up for a quarter century
And I’m still too paranoid, always think I’m getting played
Always feel like I have to choose between getting paid and getting laid
Always think when I’m chasing one, the other’s going away
And when I try and compromise, neither one is here to stay
Hard time feeling seen, maybe it’s the chameleon in me
Code switching, pulp fiction, which way are you gonna feel me?
I feel like I’m close to crashing, like I’m trying to pop a wheelie
I feel like being closed off is played out like them fucking heely’s
I hate dealing with my demons because they makes other fear me
So I fall back until I make sure others can hear me.