#FreestyleFriday: 9.15.17

I always said I had trust issues before trust issues became mainstream

Been with too many people’s main thing to even trust my main thing

I guess these trust issues just been eating at me like gangrene

Never been the type to trade scenes, still giving medicine to the fiends

In the form of scriptures, in the form of gems, you think I’m out on the corner?

Because when you choose the corner, the detectives end up choosing the coroner

Tried to lead a straight and narrow path, still got this monkey on the back

Still preparing for attack, still wishing I had my granny back

I used to be a hopeless romantic so it’s funny that I’m jaded now

She’s all natural but I gave her a perm to get that attitude straightened out

She used to be all shy but she’s telling me the truth since she’s faded now

She loved my cool demeanor but she hate it now, ever since I invaded south

The things you’re saying, at this point seem like pure contradiction

It’s so hard to tell from fact or fiction, people always change up descriptions

I swear you’re harder to read than Apple’s terms and conditions

I don’t know why you started tripping, life hit you hard like Sonny Liston?

I hope I don’t sound superstitious, but you’re not something I can believe in

I spent 5 months in the 4 seasons, almost fell in love over 3 weekends

How can you be both saint and sinner? Can you be both holy and a heathen?

Has the student become the master? Does the pupil know all the teachings?

Is it like Brady when he can read a defense? Synchronized divers off the deep end?

Is the form so good that they just assume that he’s cheating?

Ya’ll want notoriety? Y’all can keep it. My brother keep the iron low like he’s anemic

Had good people fall through the cracks like cleavage, others who felt mistreated

I had people say some real messed up stuff to me and then say they didn’t mean it

I had friends fall out with other friends & both sides wanted me in between it

I told them both I can’t do it, then I backed out like Cam Newton

When he was in the Super Bowl and had his chance then he blew it

See form that I learned a lesson, that there’s no second guessing

And once you think you have all the answers then they change the questions

I’m trying to be a blessing, she’s just trying to have me stressing

So I pointed her to the exit door and I gave her the right directions

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Draft Combine Flow (Does He Still Have It?)

I been slacking on this for a minute, focused more on podcasts

And all these new people want to connect, I didn’t invest in broadband

Homemade therapists, trying to pick apart who exactly I am

Folks aren’t even on good footing, worried about where I stand.

So afraid of getting into a rut I’m feeling nervous

So afraid to share my feelings when I’m not feeling perfect

Don’t dismiss me, don’t make me like my comments aren’t valid

And now I’m stress eating, eating this pizza when I know I need a salad

Don’t want to fall off the deep end, spiral myself into a deep hole

No matter if I’m happy or I’m sad, I keep all comments to a peep though

I work through them myself, try to avoid needing reinforcements

If there’s beauty in the pain then what I’m cooking up is gorgeous

Working on communication, but I don’t want to feel awkward with it

What I look like daydreaming of commitment when she’s not committed?

This is when you think you’re smooth but you’re sloppy with it

Meanwhile the basic tings get gassed up like they’re Nazi victims

Some folks just want to knock everything down like confederate statues

And they know what you’re all about like confederate flags too

But I didn’t come in the game for participation trophies

And before I leave? I’m taking all the shots like I learned from Kobe

Eurostep past the nonsense like I learned from Ginobli

I only talk with bosses, I never really learned from the cronies

I’m a masterpiece under construction.

Which means, what you see is beautiful but you know there’s more coming

I’m honest, I been left for dead both mentally and physically

But now? When I step in, I light up the room like a Christmas tree.

My name rings Jingle Bells, the makings of a super star.

But don’t gas me up though, I got drive like an electric car

I can cook it up slow, crockpot style or real quick like a foreman grill

Need to read the word more because lately, I don’t know how to feel

Life’s thrown a couple punches but I take them like Holyfield

They can’t imagine what I combine, I just need the space to show the skills

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The Art of Self-Preservation

So many thoughts come through my head that I refuse to speak on

They feel like I’m the activist, but I’m not the one you can lean on

No extra support. Folks arguing like it’s their day in court

Everybody running with a roster like they actually played a sport

I just survey the field like the coach in the press box

Keep my soul closed off like those kids in the sweat shops

But they know that I’m a shooter like 2000 Rick Fox

Please don’t try and play me to the side like a rest stop

I’m hitch for a new age, flyer than a blue jay

And I see all these games clearer than blueray

Excuse me, I mean 4k. predicting the future is my forte

While other people love to argue this ain’t first take.

That’s why your WCW has a Stephen A Smith hairline

Always bragging about how many paid for her airlines

But you know and I know her spirit doesn’t really align

With someone who will have your back when it’s crunch time

Ride or die is cliché, but you gonna be there when I’m down?

Fending off the vultures when they inevitably circle around?

Or kick me when I’m at my lowest? I mean, the choice is yours

It’s a dog eat dog world and you want to run with the carnivores

The art of war, tells us to be careful about letting your guard up

But I been putting in work for this like a startup

But if they think you’re on the menu? You’ll get carved up

Maybe that’s why I’m tense because in this life I’ve had hard luck.

Ain’t no “aww shucks” or “aww f*ck” you just get armed up

Been through the wars, can’t you see I have been scarred up

I’m afraid of being vulnerable, I got PTSD when it comes to that

People say they change but only find change in the laundromat

I hate that I am as guarded and untrusting as I am

But it always seems to be the closest to you that ruin your plans.

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#FreestyleFriday: 8.11.17

I haven’t written one of these in a minute, excuse me if I’m rusty

The one thing I don’t trust is a person always saying “trust me”

Sometimes I feel down on my luck, other times? I feel lucky

But I’m still not comfortable enough to be all buddy buddy

I have more acquaintances than friends, I follow God, y’all follow trends

I know the world doesn’t revolve around me but I’m still excited for it to spin

People talking reckless everywhere, feels like this world’s about to end

Everyone wants a piece of me, they’re asking for more than I should lend.

No operational deficits, how can I live life continuing to owe myself

Spent some time secluded, I had to make sure I know myself

Zen master mixed with gardener, I had to make sure I could grow myself

And then become self-sufficient, because there’s times you’ll get no one’s help

I been through the mud and the rain, then nothing was the same

It was like I had my head in the clouds, preparing for changes

And when these people throw shade, I just look the other way

Knowing when to pick your battles, must live to fight another day

Everytime I tried to give my heart away? It got sent back like a boomerang

Had me feeling like I lost my belt like I was Pootie Tang

Driving around in that new edition, still not sure if you can stand the rain

The files uploaded on my memory card, still let me know life is not a game

But if you think of life like chess, you understand to think 3 moves ahead

If you think of life like Monopoly, you understand life’s about getting bread

If you think of life like basketball, you understand you have to shoot your shot

If you think of life like Jenga, you understand the wrong move can crash the blocks

You can either laugh to the bank or be a laughing stock, the choice is yours

I know dudes who’ve been stabbed with the shank & died from the shots, the cost of war

They protected me, even when they couldn’t protect themselves

They saw that I had that Michael in me, Jackson, Jordan, Tyson or Phelps

I had to pick a path, there was no yellow brick road to lead the way

I’ve had people I loved stab me in the back, they could tell there was loyalty in my DNA

Because they took a piece of me with them when they removed the blade

But the scars reminded me that everyone doesn’t believe the same.

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Umbrellas in the Sun

I’m the type that when things go to well for me, I get nervous.

Whenever things feel too perfect I know there’s something lurking

You can’t walk in sunny weather with umbrellas expecting rain

But you feel the need to brace yourself from incoming pain

Does it make it hurt less when whatever eventually comes?

They always say “what’s done is done” but are you cool with the outcome?

I know homies who’d rather be caught with a gun than without one

Keeping tabs on opponents because I hate feeling outdone

But you comparing people’s highlight reels to your behind the scenes

And if you’re not scared then you need to find some bigger dreams

I don’t know about you, but where I’m from? They called me King

But the perks of the crown aren’t always what they seem

Where I’m from, I’m the success story, I’m the one that made it out

When they talk about going a different path, I’m who they talk about

And I appreciate them thinking that I can show folks a different route

But truth be told, I’m looking at them like I don’t have the clout

I have so much to go do, so many things that I can be

Can’t be a deer in the headlights, I mean you never go full Bambi

They say if plan A doesn’t work get a plan B

But me? I’m such an overachiever that I already broke it down to plan Z

I am where I am, but I still feel in need of a big break

I should have been dead a while ago, just glad I didn’t get that B.I.G. break

I’m so focused. Even when I have moments where I feel hopeless

I just remember when she was my age, people didn’t feel Oprah

They even crucified Jesus, even when they knew that was so bogus

So there’s no magic potion, no wallah, no hocus pocus

To make things happen for me, good ol’ hard work is the way to go.

And I know I stay on her mind like her favorite song she hears on the radio

I know I gotta do something different if I’m not satisfied with the status quo

If you’re worried about the snakes in the grass them you better mow

Just when I think I’m done with challenges, life goes and throws some more

But it’s whatever to a boss, I’ll step in this ring and go toe to toe.

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Take ‘Em To Church

Let’s take ‘em to church, have the choir singing down on us

Have ‘em singing solos for all the moments that they doubted us

They hate us and they love us, at least they love the culture

And they’re waiting on us to die out, freaking vultures

But we shall never die, we rise up from the ashes like a phoenix

And if they damage the original, we come back with the remix

The cleanest, where you water the grass is where it’s the greenest

They wanna place a bird cage on this genius

I tell them, you can’t dictate the way I think

This life can change in the speed of a blink.

Even though this world is cold like a hockey rink

To get what I want? I’m throwing everything at the issue including the kitchen sink

I told my mom the spiritual stuff really works

My demons tried to kill me, even picked out the hearse

People see your weakness, they always wanna pick out the hurt

But I feel like the Cavs, it’s time to break the curse.

People wanna chase me down like LeBron did

People want to screw with my team like his mom did

Even when no one believed in me, I know God did

So now I’m coming back for all those who left me disregarded

Every day is a battle, I win some and I lose some

But I’m cool with whatever as long as the outcome is income

Because I want everything I’m owed, and then some

Because in order to build an empire you need momentum

Praying to God for a spirit of discernment

Because I don’t know whether to build bridges or burn them

Whether to accept the old people in my life or shun them

Whether to hold a grudge on ‘em or love them

I know if I leave it to the homies, they’re gonna want to cut them

That’s why you need discernment when you discuss them

I can love them and still feel unsure about needing to trust them

Because either you down to watch my back or you’re frontin’.

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Hurt People, Hurt People

I ain’t ready for a relationship right now, at least with the wrong one

Looking back at all the things that I’ve done

Like, I knew I didn’t like her like that, why did I stick around?

I wonder if she’s picking up the hints that I’m putting down

I had people who I was willing to give the world to, throw it in my face.

I was thinking buffet, she was content with a taste

But was I rushing into things? Probably, I think I know that now.

I was just in a race to have someone hold me down

What’s a king if he doesn’t have the queen to move around?

And when the pawns fell, the castle walls came crumbling down

I switch from humble to arrogant in shockingly quick intervals

I treat these pieces like in-depth oprah interviews

Bearing pieces of my soul for the world to see

It’s laughable, I used to want people to notice me

Now it would be nice to have some anonymity for once

When they’re used to the truth wrapped in lies, they might think you’re a little blunt

But I never was here for your silly little stunts

And when I meet these people it’s like we’re both putting up a front

We’re both guarded, scared to repeat mistakes from my past

I’m learning lessons from my ex’s, she still has issues with her dad

We both try to forget it so we can share a laugh

Suppress the issue until weeks later, it springs up like what is that?

And that’s what I’m afraid of, one of my deepest fears

Is that I’ll forget how to be in a relationship after these couple years

Situationships sound cool in theory but never in practice

There’s a woman who wants my whole heart but I can’t let her have it

And she knows it too and even though she might put on the happy face

She’s a woman that I know isn’t ok with second place

That’s the position she has to play right now, getting my career off the ground

Not only are these important long term, they’re the priority right now

What if I want to move for a new career?

That decision becomes harder with a girlfriend here

Someone might ride through in the night & snatch my chick like Paul Revere

But that’s the chance I take while I’m trying to climb these tiers

If you own your truth, they can’t use it against you.

Hurt people, hurt people. We just know they never meant to.

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Don’t Question Me

I hate when people question because they don’t deserve the answers

In this thing dressed in all black like the panthers

Somehow I’m cold blooded and still the gold standard

And I’m not handing out any Emmy’s to these actors

She called me Mr. Popular I said don’t worry about it

Everybody thinks they’re the plug until there’s a power outage

I want everything, and there ain’t no real way around it

My hunger is disgusting like when they put the mouth on the water fountain

I tell ‘em I ain’t Jesus, I ain’t tryna die for your sins

I believe in keeping score, otherwise they’ll forget about your wins

It’s up to you to decide what you’re willing to defend

But if I’m on a hot streak, I do anything to prevent seeing the end

Now the question is, do the ends justify the means

Fail in public? Boy you better watch out for the memes

I used to believe in the American dream

Now it seems like America doesn’t even want me to dream

Maybe it’s because I’m the worst nightmare, the worst-case scenario

Young and black with thoughts deeper than Lake Ontario

I’m just out here trying to make it big before my burial

And drag all the homies with me like it’s my chariot

And even though Drake shames it, I still sleep at the Marriott

Investing my money into a megaphone so you can hear me out

This all sounds terrible until you realize it’s trivial

I stopped using GPS because my guidance was spiritual

Taking things a day at a time, but I’m selfish with mine

Got off my gully for a little but it’s back to the grind

It’s back to the love, but the hatred? Man they never left

Every time you hate on me, you really telling on your self

Life, health and wealth and a championship belt

Are all the things I need in order to be secure with myself

Make sure the bag is secured, can’t be out here giving out rewards

And keep some in the stash because they always want some more

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1st Day of Summer Freestyle

Summer fling season is upon us, get ready

Dealing with women that’ll have your legs feeling like spaghetti

Used to be hot and heavy, in the bed getting all sweaty

She said she wanted paper, all I had was confetti

Financial investments? Not sure if we’re there yet

Had her screaming at me like she’s Quavo, Takeoff & Offset

She’s so obsessed with the bread, I gave her a baguette

She says she’s tired of the games, wonders what’s next

I say I’m not playing any games, just moving at my own pace

I ask her how she feel about splitting bills if we had our own place

You’d thought I took her hand then spit in her face

Her affection disappeared for the kid, without a trace

Because the last few times I’ve been in things? I’ve rushed ‘em

Hard to admit I like being in tings, but I don’t trust ‘em

There’s been plenty cases but ain’t no cuffs on em

They say love is a gamble, but ain’t no luck for em

I place all my cards on the table, let’s play poker

In the summer, it’s “why so serious” I’m like the Joker

They say success has a smell, and they aware of the aroma

You could bury her in the snow and she wouldn’t be much colder

It feels like she’s going on tour like a rock and roller

You got to stand up straight to keep her attention, she’s a solider

Let’s be real though, they always put the burden on me, I admit it

Because I’ve always carried the weight well like tall women

It’s like we’re playing the same game but the ball is different

She thought I was boyfriend material, I’m like nah, the cloth is different.

I don’t do much talking, last ting I was with, wanted my twitter login

But honestly she was full of shit, like her toilet was clogging

I’m the guy, that knows the guy but I don’t need all of the attention

Because I’m the one that helps you reach the plug, I’m the extension

But this ain’t twitter, so I don’t need you to view and mention

And keep your two cents to yourself, like you’re penny pinching.

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#FreestyleFriday: 6.9.17

I tried to write something different but It got deleted

Maybe I needed to write it more than y’all needed to read it

But whatever the case is, I’m going to make sure I beat it

People want the original, stop trying to pass it off as a remix

I remember drinking sprite remix, as a young one on the porch

Probably would go great with the lean but I will never know of course

Staying drug free, trying to find clarity

Staying sucka free, trusting people is such a rarity

I stand back and look at what they all prepared for me

Momma always worries, she always seems scared for me

They scared of me, or more so, scared at what I could be

Reaching my potential is hard, so they pushed me

Staying in my lane, trying to avoid all the traffic

Avoid all the madness, you want this shit? You can have it

King kong status, the man on the island

The man demands silence, they just demand riots

Because peace isn’t achieved by peace and quiet

Sometimes the quietest person can be the livest.

I missed the point in life where it was all simple

I missed when it could be solved by a pretty woman in dimples

I never gave my heart up, it was only used as a rental

I never wrote her name in stone, the most I used was pencil

Because things aren’t permanent, people aren’t permanent

Looking through my scars, asking if it was worth the shit

Drinking at the bar, drunkenly handing out advice and tips

But it’s like a bad stock, because not many people are buying it.

I sell myself, more than I sell anything else I am involved with

Aw shit, whenever they’re in trouble, they call quick

But it’s call waiting where I’m from. Can’t press my buttons

Stand for something or die for nothing, you know how I love it

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