No Fairy Tales

The seasonal depression hit, cold weather makes cold spirits

And what good is expressing yourself when these folks don’t want to hear it?

Praying for a breakthrough, but fuck it, I got to make it happen

No fairy tales, just hard work because real shit doesn’t come from Magic

Can’t be throwing lobs to everyone because I ain’t Bron or Magic.

These niggas think they earned their stripes, but they don’t deserve the badges

But they say I’m too dramatic. But when I share the shit you’re not welcoming

That’s why I’m married to the game and no one will receive a wedding ring

I can’t be forced to settle. I can’t be forced to accept less

You say what I want isn’t realistic and I tell you just to be blessed

God’s probably ashamed I feel stressed, like son look at what I’ve done for you

And I’m like “God I hear you, but I need more to feel comfortable”

I don’t like being vulnerable. So, intimacy is a stretch for me

I sat down, I put in the work and these niggas still ask requests of me

I told these fools that I’m tired of giving you the best of me

Then sitting down and figuring out how to make do with what’s left of me

I feel like someone’s testing me. Trying to see if I change the recipe

If there’s a secret ingredient, I say nope just me

There’s people in my life that probably hate when I get this way

But I spent my life grinding now I’m just trying to blow up, no Tim McVay

I want my rings and medals like the Olympic logo on full display

So no fool can say that in the book on the history of life, I don’t get a page.

I want to be so impactful that when I die, the whole world stops

Not on some superficial shit, I just want my work to live on, when I’m not

Been getting body blows left and right and Bobbie dying feels like a spine shot

Feels like the whole neighborhood watching but this ain’t a crime watch

I want movie plots over burial plots. I want us to go the better route

I want us to plan better. More life insurance and less gofundme accounts

And that’s not a shot at no one, because we do what we can when times get hard.

I just don’t want to be one missed car note from losing my house and my job

I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck, I want something bigger.

Yeah the fairy tales are cool and all but me and mine need something realer.

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Make Me Believe Again

Make me believe in something I lost faith in

When they didn’t have a spot for me, I made a way in

And I been praying for a change, can I get an amen?

And I been put through the fire like a hazing

I’m just a young black man with the world on my shoulders

And I smell like success, you can smell the aroma

Are you good to the last drop like a cup full of Folgers?

And these people spreading lies, don’t listen to a word that they told you

We could make magic happen, pull happiness like a trick up my sleeve

When I don’t feel wanted, I fall back like when a hairline recedes

Sometimes I feel like it’s the whole world versus me

I just need someone to have my back, even when I can’t see

I ain’t on no simp shit, or pimp shit, this is somewhere in the middle

If she says I’m a dog, then I’mma treat her like some kibbles

She wanted me to taste the rainbow, treat her like some skittles

But I’m still a busy man, I don’t have the time for riddles

So say what you mean and mean what you say

If you want me to fall back, say it. Promise I’ll be ok

If you think I’m playing games, tell me, there could be a change.

And I’ll give you the courtesy to treat your ass just the same.

I believe in 50/50, not 100/0 or 60/40

If there’s beauty in the struggle, then my journey has been gorgeous.

She wanted me to magic trick on her? So I disappeared

I might just be cutting people off for the rest of the year

If the game is rigged, the only way to win is to not play.

If you aren’t bringing peace into my home, then you cannot stay.

I’m a little jaded, but I’m working on myself though

Drama always sticking to me, like a pair of velcro’s

Been through hell and back, guess what? I’m still dope

I just need your ray of sunshine to give me a little hope

So make me believe in something I lost all belief in

Someone’s gonna get the best of me, put yourself in the lead then

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In My Zone

I’m in my zone like a 2-3 defense.

When you’re cooking up greatness, no one has to see it

My mind is on my money, keep my money off your mind

And to the people acting funny, don’t worry I’m doing just fine.

I been doubted, I been kicked, I been lied on too

And even thought you lied on me, I never lied on you.

I keep it 100, like a Wilt Chamberlin high score

You think I’m ugly? Well people out there think I’m to die for

Respect it, I was out here wearing my burdens like it was a necklace

And I was struggling with the extra weight like I’m precious

Anti-social extravert, when the prayers go up I know blessings work

And people count on me like the checks that come in on the 1st

I’m on it, I have no other choice, they’re gonna hear my voice

Like when the Celtics traded for Kyrie, they get the point

You get the message? No longer obsessed with perfection

I been playing with my God given talents too long, might miss my blessings

I can’t survive the way y’all survive, I gotta thrive though

It was written to excuse my difference, like it was a doctor’s note

I got everything you need, like a convenience store

You did me dirty? I still shine, I got the mop n’ glow

Sometimes the food for thought, isn’t easy to digest

And if I leave the world tomorrow, I’ll make sure to die blessed

If your conversations equal complications then you don’t deserve my concentration

You supposed to be easy breezy beautiful, but all you bring is frustration

I been slacking with the writing since I started doing the podcast

It’s like I’m digging, trying to avoid my triggers, like mine craft

If I could twist time the way I twist my words, I could make time stand

And still always be on your side, like a night stand

I am, Mr. Unbreakable, Mr. Unshakable

Whose mind was so sick, they had to rush me past the waiting room

You ain’t in tune, I’m important, the process is gorgeous

And if you can’t picture it yet, you don’t deserve the portrait.

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#FreestyleFriday: 9.29.17

I’m trying to get it together, to survive in any era

Looking in the mirror, needing to prove that I’m better

Than whoever they place in front of me, make competition regret it

I’m cool as a bag of lettuce, doing it with no effort.

Doing it with no pressure versus doing it with all the pressure

Feel like you’re running for your life & you pray that the dogs don’t catch you

Pushing yourself even faster, trying to test your limits

Because can’t no one tell you how to do it unless they already did it

The Lord said all is forgiven, if you ask for repentance

I know some homies in prison wishing they had a lighter sentence

It can be hard to lighten the mood, when all you hear is doom and gloom

When you walk in and you’re both the smartest and poorest person in the room.

Rich man making poor decisions, young man making life decisions

You make a wrong move, they make the cut like a bad audition

Made a dollar out of 15 cents, barely had a pot to piss in

But somehow every year, I celebrated a birthday and Christmas

Mom didn’t want me to read Harry Potter but she was still a wizard

Fast forward and when it comes to my foundation, she is still a fixture

Focus on me, otherwise you might mess up the picture

High resolution, high stakes, you get it my nigga

I’m a lover, not a fighter but I’ll fight for what I love

I’m a salesman baby, I can sell salt to a slug

I can sell water to a well, I can sell ice to an eskimo

I can make your homie stay when she said she’s ready to go

The talentless are trying to inherit the earth, I can’t have that.

I’m trying to see my stock rise without the NASDAQ

And I know everyone hates a “pick me” headass

But even without extra credit I’m still the head of the class

First and never last, mind racing faster than The Flash

Living life in the fast lane, praying I never crash

They say a picture’s worth a thousand words, and if we do the math

Take a screenshot of this and I’ll autograph the photograph.

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#FreestyleFriday: 9.15.17

I always said I had trust issues before trust issues became mainstream

Been with too many people’s main thing to even trust my main thing

I guess these trust issues just been eating at me like gangrene

Never been the type to trade scenes, still giving medicine to the fiends

In the form of scriptures, in the form of gems, you think I’m out on the corner?

Because when you choose the corner, the detectives end up choosing the coroner

Tried to lead a straight and narrow path, still got this monkey on the back

Still preparing for attack, still wishing I had my granny back

I used to be a hopeless romantic so it’s funny that I’m jaded now

She’s all natural but I gave her a perm to get that attitude straightened out

She used to be all shy but she’s telling me the truth since she’s faded now

She loved my cool demeanor but she hate it now, ever since I invaded south

The things you’re saying, at this point seem like pure contradiction

It’s so hard to tell from fact or fiction, people always change up descriptions

I swear you’re harder to read than Apple’s terms and conditions

I don’t know why you started tripping, life hit you hard like Sonny Liston?

I hope I don’t sound superstitious, but you’re not something I can believe in

I spent 5 months in the 4 seasons, almost fell in love over 3 weekends

How can you be both saint and sinner? Can you be both holy and a heathen?

Has the student become the master? Does the pupil know all the teachings?

Is it like Brady when he can read a defense? Synchronized divers off the deep end?

Is the form so good that they just assume that he’s cheating?

Ya’ll want notoriety? Y’all can keep it. My brother keep the iron low like he’s anemic

Had good people fall through the cracks like cleavage, others who felt mistreated

I had people say some real messed up stuff to me and then say they didn’t mean it

I had friends fall out with other friends & both sides wanted me in between it

I told them both I can’t do it, then I backed out like Cam Newton

When he was in the Super Bowl and had his chance then he blew it

See form that I learned a lesson, that there’s no second guessing

And once you think you have all the answers then they change the questions

I’m trying to be a blessing, she’s just trying to have me stressing

So I pointed her to the exit door and I gave her the right directions

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Draft Combine Flow (Does He Still Have It?)

I been slacking on this for a minute, focused more on podcasts

And all these new people want to connect, I didn’t invest in broadband

Homemade therapists, trying to pick apart who exactly I am

Folks aren’t even on good footing, worried about where I stand.

So afraid of getting into a rut I’m feeling nervous

So afraid to share my feelings when I’m not feeling perfect

Don’t dismiss me, don’t make me like my comments aren’t valid

And now I’m stress eating, eating this pizza when I know I need a salad

Don’t want to fall off the deep end, spiral myself into a deep hole

No matter if I’m happy or I’m sad, I keep all comments to a peep though

I work through them myself, try to avoid needing reinforcements

If there’s beauty in the pain then what I’m cooking up is gorgeous

Working on communication, but I don’t want to feel awkward with it

What I look like daydreaming of commitment when she’s not committed?

This is when you think you’re smooth but you’re sloppy with it

Meanwhile the basic tings get gassed up like they’re Nazi victims

Some folks just want to knock everything down like confederate statues

And they know what you’re all about like confederate flags too

But I didn’t come in the game for participation trophies

And before I leave? I’m taking all the shots like I learned from Kobe

Eurostep past the nonsense like I learned from Ginobli

I only talk with bosses, I never really learned from the cronies

I’m a masterpiece under construction.

Which means, what you see is beautiful but you know there’s more coming

I’m honest, I been left for dead both mentally and physically

But now? When I step in, I light up the room like a Christmas tree.

My name rings Jingle Bells, the makings of a super star.

But don’t gas me up though, I got drive like an electric car

I can cook it up slow, crockpot style or real quick like a foreman grill

Need to read the word more because lately, I don’t know how to feel

Life’s thrown a couple punches but I take them like Holyfield

They can’t imagine what I combine, I just need the space to show the skills

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The Art of Self-Preservation

So many thoughts come through my head that I refuse to speak on

They feel like I’m the activist, but I’m not the one you can lean on

No extra support. Folks arguing like it’s their day in court

Everybody running with a roster like they actually played a sport

I just survey the field like the coach in the press box

Keep my soul closed off like those kids in the sweat shops

But they know that I’m a shooter like 2000 Rick Fox

Please don’t try and play me to the side like a rest stop

I’m hitch for a new age, flyer than a blue jay

And I see all these games clearer than blueray

Excuse me, I mean 4k. predicting the future is my forte

While other people love to argue this ain’t first take.

That’s why your WCW has a Stephen A Smith hairline

Always bragging about how many paid for her airlines

But you know and I know her spirit doesn’t really align

With someone who will have your back when it’s crunch time

Ride or die is cliché, but you gonna be there when I’m down?

Fending off the vultures when they inevitably circle around?

Or kick me when I’m at my lowest? I mean, the choice is yours

It’s a dog eat dog world and you want to run with the carnivores

The art of war, tells us to be careful about letting your guard up

But I been putting in work for this like a startup

But if they think you’re on the menu? You’ll get carved up

Maybe that’s why I’m tense because in this life I’ve had hard luck.

Ain’t no “aww shucks” or “aww f*ck” you just get armed up

Been through the wars, can’t you see I have been scarred up

I’m afraid of being vulnerable, I got PTSD when it comes to that

People say they change but only find change in the laundromat

I hate that I am as guarded and untrusting as I am

But it always seems to be the closest to you that ruin your plans.

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#FreestyleFriday: 8.11.17

I haven’t written one of these in a minute, excuse me if I’m rusty

The one thing I don’t trust is a person always saying “trust me”

Sometimes I feel down on my luck, other times? I feel lucky

But I’m still not comfortable enough to be all buddy buddy

I have more acquaintances than friends, I follow God, y’all follow trends

I know the world doesn’t revolve around me but I’m still excited for it to spin

People talking reckless everywhere, feels like this world’s about to end

Everyone wants a piece of me, they’re asking for more than I should lend.

No operational deficits, how can I live life continuing to owe myself

Spent some time secluded, I had to make sure I know myself

Zen master mixed with gardener, I had to make sure I could grow myself

And then become self-sufficient, because there’s times you’ll get no one’s help

I been through the mud and the rain, then nothing was the same

It was like I had my head in the clouds, preparing for changes

And when these people throw shade, I just look the other way

Knowing when to pick your battles, must live to fight another day

Everytime I tried to give my heart away? It got sent back like a boomerang

Had me feeling like I lost my belt like I was Pootie Tang

Driving around in that new edition, still not sure if you can stand the rain

The files uploaded on my memory card, still let me know life is not a game

But if you think of life like chess, you understand to think 3 moves ahead

If you think of life like Monopoly, you understand life’s about getting bread

If you think of life like basketball, you understand you have to shoot your shot

If you think of life like Jenga, you understand the wrong move can crash the blocks

You can either laugh to the bank or be a laughing stock, the choice is yours

I know dudes who’ve been stabbed with the shank & died from the shots, the cost of war

They protected me, even when they couldn’t protect themselves

They saw that I had that Michael in me, Jackson, Jordan, Tyson or Phelps

I had to pick a path, there was no yellow brick road to lead the way

I’ve had people I loved stab me in the back, they could tell there was loyalty in my DNA

Because they took a piece of me with them when they removed the blade

But the scars reminded me that everyone doesn’t believe the same.

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Umbrellas in the Sun

I’m the type that when things go to well for me, I get nervous.

Whenever things feel too perfect I know there’s something lurking

You can’t walk in sunny weather with umbrellas expecting rain

But you feel the need to brace yourself from incoming pain

Does it make it hurt less when whatever eventually comes?

They always say “what’s done is done” but are you cool with the outcome?

I know homies who’d rather be caught with a gun than without one

Keeping tabs on opponents because I hate feeling outdone

But you comparing people’s highlight reels to your behind the scenes

And if you’re not scared then you need to find some bigger dreams

I don’t know about you, but where I’m from? They called me King

But the perks of the crown aren’t always what they seem

Where I’m from, I’m the success story, I’m the one that made it out

When they talk about going a different path, I’m who they talk about

And I appreciate them thinking that I can show folks a different route

But truth be told, I’m looking at them like I don’t have the clout

I have so much to go do, so many things that I can be

Can’t be a deer in the headlights, I mean you never go full Bambi

They say if plan A doesn’t work get a plan B

But me? I’m such an overachiever that I already broke it down to plan Z

I am where I am, but I still feel in need of a big break

I should have been dead a while ago, just glad I didn’t get that B.I.G. break

I’m so focused. Even when I have moments where I feel hopeless

I just remember when she was my age, people didn’t feel Oprah

They even crucified Jesus, even when they knew that was so bogus

So there’s no magic potion, no wallah, no hocus pocus

To make things happen for me, good ol’ hard work is the way to go.

And I know I stay on her mind like her favorite song she hears on the radio

I know I gotta do something different if I’m not satisfied with the status quo

If you’re worried about the snakes in the grass them you better mow

Just when I think I’m done with challenges, life goes and throws some more

But it’s whatever to a boss, I’ll step in this ring and go toe to toe.

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Take ‘Em To Church

Let’s take ‘em to church, have the choir singing down on us

Have ‘em singing solos for all the moments that they doubted us

They hate us and they love us, at least they love the culture

And they’re waiting on us to die out, freaking vultures

But we shall never die, we rise up from the ashes like a phoenix

And if they damage the original, we come back with the remix

The cleanest, where you water the grass is where it’s the greenest

They wanna place a bird cage on this genius

I tell them, you can’t dictate the way I think

This life can change in the speed of a blink.

Even though this world is cold like a hockey rink

To get what I want? I’m throwing everything at the issue including the kitchen sink

I told my mom the spiritual stuff really works

My demons tried to kill me, even picked out the hearse

People see your weakness, they always wanna pick out the hurt

But I feel like the Cavs, it’s time to break the curse.

People wanna chase me down like LeBron did

People want to screw with my team like his mom did

Even when no one believed in me, I know God did

So now I’m coming back for all those who left me disregarded

Every day is a battle, I win some and I lose some

But I’m cool with whatever as long as the outcome is income

Because I want everything I’m owed, and then some

Because in order to build an empire you need momentum

Praying to God for a spirit of discernment

Because I don’t know whether to build bridges or burn them

Whether to accept the old people in my life or shun them

Whether to hold a grudge on ‘em or love them

I know if I leave it to the homies, they’re gonna want to cut them

That’s why you need discernment when you discuss them

I can love them and still feel unsure about needing to trust them

Because either you down to watch my back or you’re frontin’.

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