#FreestyleFriday: Good Friday Edition

I tell folks I haven’t been in love before and they ask why?

I’m like “I don’t really know” it’s not like I didn’t try

But shit never worked out best for the kid

It’s like all these women just been stress to the kid

They sleeping on me? They needed rest on the kid

I gave them my all, and left the rest for the kid.

Far from perfect, far from immortal, came from the soil

The dirt hid the crown and the fact I was royal

I want everything but just give me someone that is loyal

Meanwhile I’m dealing with an intermittent case of paranoia

More money, more problems? I just see people as more annoying

Short trigger, short fuse, too easy to get my temperature boiling

Because when you up? You see all those people joining?

But when you down? All those people just give finger pointing

It’s kinda disappointing, you see what we’re destroying?

Think you’re drinking from the fountain of life but really it’s a deadly poison

Life isn’t a game, otherwise we would have brought the toys in

But God is a good God because he often believes in choices

Red pill or blue pill, the left path or the right path

I told her things didn’t add up. She told me she didn’t even like math

I told her I would be right back, but really didn’t even come back

People keep throwing shade at me then get offended by the comebacks

Or the subtweets, or the petty shit but I’m on my Andretti shit

Life in the fast lane, on some “I don’t think that they ready shit”

Putting myself in a position to deserve everything I ask for

Putting my stamp on society like a bougie black woman with a passport

I feel like people watching me no camcorder

Weight of the world on my shoulders, trying to reach the border

Not to Mexico, but to greatness and it ain’t no short order

Life is a bitch but we still adore her

Not only do we adore her, we even reward her

By staying on our grind like a skateboarder.

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#MondayMotivation: 4.3.17

I’m the type of person that can hide in plain sight

So fresh to death, it’s like my closet is a grave site

I keep everything on a need to know, me opening up? A strange sight

But hey? Whatever we got to do to maintain right?

Focused on myself, you can get in where you fit in

Got a legacy to uphold, I mean my grandmother did the sit in’s

My mother? Broke the glass ceiling like it was a ribbon

So greatness isn’t an option for me; it’s a mission

Dealing with my mental issues ain’t been a pretty picture

Told her, I needed some space & I’d be right back with ya

She wasn’t messing with that so she left me when I was real low

Now if she try & kick it again? I’mma block it like a field goal

Girl, you will never be more important than my sanity

I make this look easy, I do the semi-impossible almost causally

I don’t do it flashily because everyone would be mad at me

Give me a chance, I can make your real life turn to fantasy

I put God first then right afterwards, its family

Trying to see if we can plant some money seeds inside this family tree

You gotta hide the medicine in the candy like it’s a childhood pharmacy

Which means, you gotta show them the truth, even when they don’t want to see

Passing out food for thought like it was a buffet

Some people want appetizers, others want their entrees

I keep it quiet when I don’t know exactly what to convey

Otherwise people gonna make it a production like its Broadway

Running circles around these fools like its field day

Which makes sense because I view all the shit as child’s play

Everyone taking shots, just hope that you don’t catch a stray

Throwing shots then hiding hands? Don’t try and downplay

They think it’s over for me? But I’m not in dismay

I don’t trust people because of all the times I been betrayed

But I still have everything you want like it’s eBay

And the ability to bring anything back like a DJ.

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Assassinate My Character

I wrote this while my eye was twitching, momma said it was stress

She asked me what was wrong, I said I got a lot on my chest

Like a woman who needs a breast reduction or a bench press that needs a spot

As soon as you start to feel well, everyone wants to take their shot

I ain’t the American dream, I’m america’s nightmare

Everything they don’t want us to be, I’m right here

Had people I thought cared for me, stab me right in the back

I tell the truth, they turn and twist it with alternative facts

I can’t win, it seems like I can only hold off the losing

My demons tryna beat my ass, let me hold off the bruising

People ask me what’s wrong & I can’t even articulate it properly

I feel all these people are watching me, hate on me & don’t even talk to me

Assassinate my character, I mean even Jesus was crucified

They’d probably kill me and make it look like a suicide

Tricky bastards, I have lost all faith in the masses

Obsessed in my progress, but it’s moving slow like molasses

Been in a rut, so I had to pull something out the sleeves

People throwing shade as long as 50 trees

Wondering why these folks won’t let me be

Stressed out, just the whole world cannot see

I make things happen. That’s what I do every single day and night

I ain’t even gonna lie, I’m not always doing what is right

But it’s probably what’s best for me, out here crafting recipes

Trying to plan centuries, dodging penitentiaries

Is this what life is meant to be? Are folks supposed to not accept a G?

They even crucified Jesus, so what else can I expect from thee?

People are either gonna love you or hate you, and it’s on them to decide

You can influence them with actions, but they’re gonna choose if they’re down to ride.

Snakes in the grass, that’s why you keep the grass short

Acknowledge that you’re winning, they call you a bad sport

Backhanded compliments, hiding the pain inside the pleasure

Hiding the hating inside the “lecture” that’s supposed to make you better.

You ask? I’m down for whatever. When the son shines? The reign’s over

Personality needs renovating, extreme makeover

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#MondayMotivation: The Balancing Act

Sometimes you gotta take an L, but you grow from it

They thought they had my case closed but I made them reopen it

You know me? I’m gonna go get it, even if progress is slow with it

I been doubted since way back when Twista made Po’ Pimpin

Stay low and build time, your halftime is my chill time

I speak the truth in all my words, yet you think these ain’t real lines

They don’t see the signs, they just see the lies

They see the highlight reel but they don’t see the life

They don’t see the hard work and effort they just see results and then question.

Sleeping with one eye open just so I don’t miss my blessing

All these people that I’m dealing with, I don’t like mess in my orbit

People try to give me their stress and like a fool I absorb it

I got someone’s homegirl singing my praise like a chorus

People only give you flowers when you dead & I’m not tryna meet a florist

Watch them assassinate my character, just to say that they stayed down

What’s the point in staying down if you try and make everyone stay down?

You damn clown, sometimes the voices in my head are the only sounds

I care to hear and sometimes a person is only lost if they care to be found

Maybe I’m pushing through when I don’t need to push through

Don’t you get tired of convincing people that they need you?

People get a connation when they hear you’re a good dude

Like it’s ok to forget that I have needs to

The sex is good but sometimes the person isn’t

Sometimes you don’t get an explanation on why they did it

Sometimes you want it to work and it just can’t

Sometimes your secret admirers just work better as fans

Sometimes we just might work better as friends

Sometimes if you take the sex away, we were never friends

It’s possible to be both cocky and self-conscious

It’s possible to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress

The process? It’s ugly, not many people want to watch it

But it can get even uglier if you botch it.

No one wants to invest in you but everyone wants a profit

But in order to see the dividends, you must first make a deposit.

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#FreestyleFriday: 3.3.17

You like what you like, you want what you want

I know there’s plenty of people who love me and plenty people who don’t

I feel like Syracuse’s defense, I’m really in my zone

Sent the measures for my crown because I’m ready for the throne

I be riding through the city, feeling like the president

But not that orange cheeto, I mean a real president

People hating on me, setting a new precedent

Because I’m running through their mind like a track event

Do you hate what you represent? Self-esteem needs a supplement

At the bar taking 9 shots, feeling like 50 cent

Giving haters the full court press I will never relent

Praying on my downfall, hoping for my descent

I ain’t talking about so-and-so, it’s over with you-know-who

We call them girls mysteries and you are no Scooby Do

You feel like you’re a bad guy? I feel like I’m a soprano too

Don’t make me reach the bad side, see some things that you never knew

Trying to be the nice guy but people want me to go the mean route

Throwing wrinkles in my plan? You’ll be sure to get steamed out

Every day’s a fight, only catch me smiling between bouts

The next person to talk that mess might just get cleaned out

I slide on her in the nighttime because the day has too many eyes

She don’t believe in love no more, says there is too many lies

I keep it on the low even though she be getting kinda high

He says reality is bullshit, so I let her fantasize.

My homie told me “it seems like you like ‘em until they like you back”

Because it’s hard to get freedom when feelings get attached

I know the women I did wrong wish they could get me back

But I think the women that did me dirty already handled that

So is it a clean slate or just a balanced scale?

Keep your 2 cents and throw them in the wishing well

The devil tried to keep me down with no avail

Because at this point, I was supposed to be dead or in jail.

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#FreestyleFriday: 2.24.17

I’m standing in the storm, ready for the rain

School of hard knocks, I’m ready for the pain

Got these scars on my body from my past wars

But you haven’t lived until you found something you’d die for

Remember that, you used to be the one I cry for

Sneaking around the city, you were the one I’d lie for

Like nah, we just cooling it, kicking it. That ain’t bae

But hiding your true feelings from yourself, that ain’t safe

You win some, you lose some, well if that’s the case?

I been eating humble pie for too long, it’s time for cake

Money coming, money going, so fast I can’t keep up with it

Got a cloud hanging over my head, feels like I’m stuck with it

The moment I stop having fun with it, I’ll be done with it

Everybody claim to be a shooter until you hand them a gun with it

So be mindful of people’s words, pay attention to their actions

Sometimes you add to your wealth by giving people subtractions

Used to be known for overacting now I’m barely reacting

Used to wear my heart on my sleeve but I no longer like that fashion

They think they are going over me? That’s an improper fraction

Fake people make me sick, it’s like an allergic reaction

You know me, I’m dealing with the demons on my own time

But I can’t let my own demons continue to block my own shine

Food for thought, my mind is like a gold mine

Everybody wanna beat Goliath, but few try.

What are you gonna do when your back is against the wall?

When half want to see you win and the other half wants to see you fall

I got to succeed, there honestly isn’t another option

I feel these haters plotting, you do what you want when you’re popping

King shit, and I appreciate the loyal subjects watching

Known to help other people out I’m like the black John Stockton

The pick and roll, hand me the rock and it’s give and go

But nothing is an easy layup, LeBron and them should know.

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Be My Peace

Be my peace and not my stress and I promise I’ll give you everything

Be my oasis inside the storm and you might end with wedding rings

That’s all I want, that’s all I need but I still can’t seem to get that

I asked her to give me a break, she said “who do you think I am? A kit-kat?”

I don’t get that, especially when people are praying on my downfall

It’s hard enough to be a black millionaire without the aid of a roundball

Or a microphone, I don’t give you any reason to search my phone

Yet you refuse to give me relaxation when I’m at home

Every time I see your name in my iMessage, I start to regret it

And wonder what I did to make you upset, my mind starts refreshing

Trying to figure out how I let a goofy chick make me start stressing

The stories you come up with, wouldn’t even find a home in the fiction section

Yeah I said it, I got wants and I got some needs

Want me to give that up just for a chance at make believe?

Them make me believe that you here with me and for me

Instead of what I can do for you and consistent sex for when you’re horny.

See, Vince carter was half man, half amazing

But me? I’m all man with constantly thinning patience

Tired of waiting, for someone good to come out the mud

Do you believe in love or just in its power as the biggest drug?

Make the biggest thug crumple into a million pieces

We supposed to stick together through the hard times like adhesive

You’re a work of art, leaning tower of Pisa

But love is harder to maintain, that’s my thesis.

An imperfect man fit for an imperfect world

So I know better than to expect the perfect girl

But if the things I do expect, she can’t provide?

Then I go Adele, saying hello from the other side

Be my sunshine in the rain, not a tropical storm

Be my Advil for the pain, not a medical bill form

Be my peace through the process, not another war

Otherwise, I start to ask why I need you for

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Light in the Darkness

What’s the difference between content and complacent?

Trying to advance but still working on the basics

Figuring out which side of me is worth embracing

I told God I wanted it all but I’m getting quite impatient

Maybe my happiness is dictated too much by outside forces

But when it comes to the school of hard knocks? I’ve taken courses

People think they can ride me to success like thoroughbred horses

Married to the game but most people get divorces

It’s like I feel a darkness over me, walking around with storm clouds

They’d call me crazy if I told all my thoughts out loud

Harken it back to spring 11, my head is bloody but unbowed

Dealing with dissatisfaction, is it ok to be proud?

Because I look at myself and realize this can’t be the peak for me

I keep my thoughts to myself because I don’t like folks tryna speak for me

I look at my cruses now and they ruined the mystique for me

Would you rather be happy or great? That question comes up every week for me

And I don’t know the answer, to be honest I’m not sure

I told my homegirl how I’m feeling, she said prayer & faith are the cures

Failed so many times I feel like a failure connoisseur

I know I’m down right now, I don’t even want to know the score

Are they looking at me like I’m a bust? Emeka Okafor?

And I know the saying goes, keys open doors

But bricks open windows and opportunities I’m reaching for

Used to be pure, but that was before I went on this tour

People always want to make up, look how feelings get contoured

People rarely tell you what they want, so you’re unsure.

They sell you these dreams, you get caught in the allure

Now you’re just riding around in this world unsecure

Trying to find light in the darkness, working towards heartless

Because if I get played regardless, I got to work on my sharpness

Because people ain’t walk all over me like I’m the carpet

I’m not buying what you’re selling. Choose a difference market.

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Still Standing

I like busy women but I also like attention it’s a paradox

Looking for something to invest in like a pair of stocks.

Used to parasail into the Dm’s praying to find paradise

Realized I was gambling like rolling a pair of dice.

Put it all on black, that’s my momma’s advice

But I don’t know if she’s talking gambling or the girls she thinks are nice

But she don’t trip too much, I’m thankful for that

Otherwise she’d be asking me where her grandbabies are at

And then I’d be with the dumb face like I don’t know momma

I was in a couple plays in high school but I outgrew the drama

Tired of sweating these women like I gave up the sauna

Now I’m getting my run on like I gave up the comma

People keep sleeping on me, they didn’t give up the pajamas

And I’m out here praying for peace like I’m the Dali Lama

Harlem shaking through the pressure like it’s 02

Making a list of people that I can tell “I told you’

Is that petty? Probably. But all these setbacks cannot stop me

Working hard to be original and all they present me is carbon copies

Like this is what you have brought to me?

These are the people who want more than a part of me?

They say your desire wanes, and things aren’t the same

Every time I stick my neck out I get guillotined, this is the guarded me

So hypersensitive for the fall back that I may project

Fears onto others from my natural sense to protect

Myself from any criticisms I deem unfounded and dimwitted

The moment I’m done with it is when I stop having fun with it

I’m looking forward to figuring out my place in society

Just trying to get to the point where all of my people are proud of me

Skewed expectations, look at all of the things they require of me

I guess it’s no wonder that they get tired of me

But I’m still here. Assassination attempts and all

But you see how they react when I’m not as involved.

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6pm in Clifton

I’m trying to be a better person, less volatile

They say Diddy, you got pretty teeth so why you never smile?

Because life had beat me down like a stepchild

And to be honest? This shit was getting kind of wild

So, I had to take a chill pill, no ecstasy, no Xanax

How I’m 25 and already stressed about getting the damn checks

People tapping me on the shoulder like “don’t you get it? You’re damn blessed”

Because I’m sweating through my t-shirt, trying to get at these crew’s neck.

I’m verified on and off twitter but I still need that blue check

I need that Blue Ivy money, making millions while I rest

Had so many people leaning on me like an armrest

I’m honored but get off me, I need space to catch my breath

I don’t need a Fitbit in order to retrace my steps

I can pinpoint the exact moment where it all went left

It is what I was focused on, all the wrong things

Felt like I had the whole team on my back, that’s LeBron things.

Been declared special since high school, that’s LeBron things

On a mission to make Ohio cool, that’s LeBron things

Shawty asked me what makes me happy and I couldn’t answer

Besides having enough cash to make it rain dear, word to Prancer

They think we have this crabs in a barrel mindset, word to Cancers

I’m brave enough to fly with Falcons and Hawks, word to Atlanta

These haters can’t stand us, I suggest they roll along

They say hindsight is 20/20 because you realized what you should have focused on

Build yourself up, what you look like pouring from an empty cup

And when they want refills, they move to the next nigga up

Let’s be real, society sucks. Sometimes you should take a break from it

When you crumble, they build you stronger. Sometimes you must take a break with it

Building up my equity, I got my demons right next to me

I made peace with them but I haven’t made peace with you enemies

There’s a difference between being friendly and friends with me

I realized that when I gave more to fools & they started thinking less of me.

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