#FreestyleFriday: 8.11.17

I haven’t written one of these in a minute, excuse me if I’m rusty

The one thing I don’t trust is a person always saying “trust me”

Sometimes I feel down on my luck, other times? I feel lucky

But I’m still not comfortable enough to be all buddy buddy

I have more acquaintances than friends, I follow God, y’all follow trends

I know the world doesn’t revolve around me but I’m still excited for it to spin

People talking reckless everywhere, feels like this world’s about to end

Everyone wants a piece of me, they’re asking for more than I should lend.

No operational deficits, how can I live life continuing to owe myself

Spent some time secluded, I had to make sure I know myself

Zen master mixed with gardener, I had to make sure I could grow myself

And then become self-sufficient, because there’s times you’ll get no one’s help

I been through the mud and the rain, then nothing was the same

It was like I had my head in the clouds, preparing for changes

And when these people throw shade, I just look the other way

Knowing when to pick your battles, must live to fight another day

Everytime I tried to give my heart away? It got sent back like a boomerang

Had me feeling like I lost my belt like I was Pootie Tang

Driving around in that new edition, still not sure if you can stand the rain

The files uploaded on my memory card, still let me know life is not a game

But if you think of life like chess, you understand to think 3 moves ahead

If you think of life like Monopoly, you understand life’s about getting bread

If you think of life like basketball, you understand you have to shoot your shot

If you think of life like Jenga, you understand the wrong move can crash the blocks

You can either laugh to the bank or be a laughing stock, the choice is yours

I know dudes who’ve been stabbed with the shank & died from the shots, the cost of war

They protected me, even when they couldn’t protect themselves

They saw that I had that Michael in me, Jackson, Jordan, Tyson or Phelps

I had to pick a path, there was no yellow brick road to lead the way

I’ve had people I loved stab me in the back, they could tell there was loyalty in my DNA

Because they took a piece of me with them when they removed the blade

But the scars reminded me that everyone doesn’t believe the same.

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Umbrellas in the Sun

I’m the type that when things go to well for me, I get nervous.

Whenever things feel too perfect I know there’s something lurking

You can’t walk in sunny weather with umbrellas expecting rain

But you feel the need to brace yourself from incoming pain

Does it make it hurt less when whatever eventually comes?

They always say “what’s done is done” but are you cool with the outcome?

I know homies who’d rather be caught with a gun than without one

Keeping tabs on opponents because I hate feeling outdone

But you comparing people’s highlight reels to your behind the scenes

And if you’re not scared then you need to find some bigger dreams

I don’t know about you, but where I’m from? They called me King

But the perks of the crown aren’t always what they seem

Where I’m from, I’m the success story, I’m the one that made it out

When they talk about going a different path, I’m who they talk about

And I appreciate them thinking that I can show folks a different route

But truth be told, I’m looking at them like I don’t have the clout

I have so much to go do, so many things that I can be

Can’t be a deer in the headlights, I mean you never go full Bambi

They say if plan A doesn’t work get a plan B

But me? I’m such an overachiever that I already broke it down to plan Z

I am where I am, but I still feel in need of a big break

I should have been dead a while ago, just glad I didn’t get that B.I.G. break

I’m so focused. Even when I have moments where I feel hopeless

I just remember when she was my age, people didn’t feel Oprah

They even crucified Jesus, even when they knew that was so bogus

So there’s no magic potion, no wallah, no hocus pocus

To make things happen for me, good ol’ hard work is the way to go.

And I know I stay on her mind like her favorite song she hears on the radio

I know I gotta do something different if I’m not satisfied with the status quo

If you’re worried about the snakes in the grass them you better mow

Just when I think I’m done with challenges, life goes and throws some more

But it’s whatever to a boss, I’ll step in this ring and go toe to toe.

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Take ‘Em To Church

Let’s take ‘em to church, have the choir singing down on us

Have ‘em singing solos for all the moments that they doubted us

They hate us and they love us, at least they love the culture

And they’re waiting on us to die out, freaking vultures

But we shall never die, we rise up from the ashes like a phoenix

And if they damage the original, we come back with the remix

The cleanest, where you water the grass is where it’s the greenest

They wanna place a bird cage on this genius

I tell them, you can’t dictate the way I think

This life can change in the speed of a blink.

Even though this world is cold like a hockey rink

To get what I want? I’m throwing everything at the issue including the kitchen sink

I told my mom the spiritual stuff really works

My demons tried to kill me, even picked out the hearse

People see your weakness, they always wanna pick out the hurt

But I feel like the Cavs, it’s time to break the curse.

People wanna chase me down like LeBron did

People want to screw with my team like his mom did

Even when no one believed in me, I know God did

So now I’m coming back for all those who left me disregarded

Every day is a battle, I win some and I lose some

But I’m cool with whatever as long as the outcome is income

Because I want everything I’m owed, and then some

Because in order to build an empire you need momentum

Praying to God for a spirit of discernment

Because I don’t know whether to build bridges or burn them

Whether to accept the old people in my life or shun them

Whether to hold a grudge on ‘em or love them

I know if I leave it to the homies, they’re gonna want to cut them

That’s why you need discernment when you discuss them

I can love them and still feel unsure about needing to trust them

Because either you down to watch my back or you’re frontin’.

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Hurt People, Hurt People

I ain’t ready for a relationship right now, at least with the wrong one

Looking back at all the things that I’ve done

Like, I knew I didn’t like her like that, why did I stick around?

I wonder if she’s picking up the hints that I’m putting down

I had people who I was willing to give the world to, throw it in my face.

I was thinking buffet, she was content with a taste

But was I rushing into things? Probably, I think I know that now.

I was just in a race to have someone hold me down

What’s a king if he doesn’t have the queen to move around?

And when the pawns fell, the castle walls came crumbling down

I switch from humble to arrogant in shockingly quick intervals

I treat these pieces like in-depth oprah interviews

Bearing pieces of my soul for the world to see

It’s laughable, I used to want people to notice me

Now it would be nice to have some anonymity for once

When they’re used to the truth wrapped in lies, they might think you’re a little blunt

But I never was here for your silly little stunts

And when I meet these people it’s like we’re both putting up a front

We’re both guarded, scared to repeat mistakes from my past

I’m learning lessons from my ex’s, she still has issues with her dad

We both try to forget it so we can share a laugh

Suppress the issue until weeks later, it springs up like what is that?

And that’s what I’m afraid of, one of my deepest fears

Is that I’ll forget how to be in a relationship after these couple years

Situationships sound cool in theory but never in practice

There’s a woman who wants my whole heart but I can’t let her have it

And she knows it too and even though she might put on the happy face

She’s a woman that I know isn’t ok with second place

That’s the position she has to play right now, getting my career off the ground

Not only are these important long term, they’re the priority right now

What if I want to move for a new career?

That decision becomes harder with a girlfriend here

Someone might ride through in the night & snatch my chick like Paul Revere

But that’s the chance I take while I’m trying to climb these tiers

If you own your truth, they can’t use it against you.

Hurt people, hurt people. We just know they never meant to.

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Don’t Question Me

I hate when people question because they don’t deserve the answers

In this thing dressed in all black like the panthers

Somehow I’m cold blooded and still the gold standard

And I’m not handing out any Emmy’s to these actors

She called me Mr. Popular I said don’t worry about it

Everybody thinks they’re the plug until there’s a power outage

I want everything, and there ain’t no real way around it

My hunger is disgusting like when they put the mouth on the water fountain

I tell ‘em I ain’t Jesus, I ain’t tryna die for your sins

I believe in keeping score, otherwise they’ll forget about your wins

It’s up to you to decide what you’re willing to defend

But if I’m on a hot streak, I do anything to prevent seeing the end

Now the question is, do the ends justify the means

Fail in public? Boy you better watch out for the memes

I used to believe in the American dream

Now it seems like America doesn’t even want me to dream

Maybe it’s because I’m the worst nightmare, the worst-case scenario

Young and black with thoughts deeper than Lake Ontario

I’m just out here trying to make it big before my burial

And drag all the homies with me like it’s my chariot

And even though Drake shames it, I still sleep at the Marriott

Investing my money into a megaphone so you can hear me out

This all sounds terrible until you realize it’s trivial

I stopped using GPS because my guidance was spiritual

Taking things a day at a time, but I’m selfish with mine

Got off my gully for a little but it’s back to the grind

It’s back to the love, but the hatred? Man they never left

Every time you hate on me, you really telling on your self

Life, health and wealth and a championship belt

Are all the things I need in order to be secure with myself

Make sure the bag is secured, can’t be out here giving out rewards

And keep some in the stash because they always want some more

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1st Day of Summer Freestyle

Summer fling season is upon us, get ready

Dealing with women that’ll have your legs feeling like spaghetti

Used to be hot and heavy, in the bed getting all sweaty

She said she wanted paper, all I had was confetti

Financial investments? Not sure if we’re there yet

Had her screaming at me like she’s Quavo, Takeoff & Offset

She’s so obsessed with the bread, I gave her a baguette

She says she’s tired of the games, wonders what’s next

I say I’m not playing any games, just moving at my own pace

I ask her how she feel about splitting bills if we had our own place

You’d thought I took her hand then spit in her face

Her affection disappeared for the kid, without a trace

Because the last few times I’ve been in things? I’ve rushed ‘em

Hard to admit I like being in tings, but I don’t trust ‘em

There’s been plenty cases but ain’t no cuffs on em

They say love is a gamble, but ain’t no luck for em

I place all my cards on the table, let’s play poker

In the summer, it’s “why so serious” I’m like the Joker

They say success has a smell, and they aware of the aroma

You could bury her in the snow and she wouldn’t be much colder

It feels like she’s going on tour like a rock and roller

You got to stand up straight to keep her attention, she’s a solider

Let’s be real though, they always put the burden on me, I admit it

Because I’ve always carried the weight well like tall women

It’s like we’re playing the same game but the ball is different

She thought I was boyfriend material, I’m like nah, the cloth is different.

I don’t do much talking, last ting I was with, wanted my twitter login

But honestly she was full of shit, like her toilet was clogging

I’m the guy, that knows the guy but I don’t need all of the attention

Because I’m the one that helps you reach the plug, I’m the extension

But this ain’t twitter, so I don’t need you to view and mention

And keep your two cents to yourself, like you’re penny pinching.

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#FreestyleFriday: 6.9.17

I tried to write something different but It got deleted

Maybe I needed to write it more than y’all needed to read it

But whatever the case is, I’m going to make sure I beat it

People want the original, stop trying to pass it off as a remix

I remember drinking sprite remix, as a young one on the porch

Probably would go great with the lean but I will never know of course

Staying drug free, trying to find clarity

Staying sucka free, trusting people is such a rarity

I stand back and look at what they all prepared for me

Momma always worries, she always seems scared for me

They scared of me, or more so, scared at what I could be

Reaching my potential is hard, so they pushed me

Staying in my lane, trying to avoid all the traffic

Avoid all the madness, you want this shit? You can have it

King kong status, the man on the island

The man demands silence, they just demand riots

Because peace isn’t achieved by peace and quiet

Sometimes the quietest person can be the livest.

I missed the point in life where it was all simple

I missed when it could be solved by a pretty woman in dimples

I never gave my heart up, it was only used as a rental

I never wrote her name in stone, the most I used was pencil

Because things aren’t permanent, people aren’t permanent

Looking through my scars, asking if it was worth the shit

Drinking at the bar, drunkenly handing out advice and tips

But it’s like a bad stock, because not many people are buying it.

I sell myself, more than I sell anything else I am involved with

Aw shit, whenever they’re in trouble, they call quick

But it’s call waiting where I’m from. Can’t press my buttons

Stand for something or die for nothing, you know how I love it

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Back…For Now.

I had to take a sabbatical, had to get focused like I was on Adderall

Circumstances turned me into an animal, trying to get all this capital

I tried being diplomatical, they looked at me like I was magical

They say I can’t do the things I dreamed of, they ask me to be more practical.

Even the people I love, have some questions about my dreams

I’m like what happened to the “we’re supposed to be kings and queens”?

They wonder is it really what it seems, too focused on material things?

Well, they look at LeBron and judge him by however many rings

So I need more things in my trophy cases, haters having these stony faces

Not giving it my all doesn’t make sense, like shoes without laces

Or a nerd without braces, or a sentence without spaces

Or baseball without bases, Olivia Benson not solving cases

When they fear your greatness, they always want you to be gracious

When you’re swinging for the fences, they want to put you in the cages

Trying to put all the pieces together, you can tell my mind’s been racing

They feel like this is a gamble, but I don’t live in Las Vegas

I been through a lot, I just don’t say it. When memories come I replay it

They want me to pass the torch, but I’m not sure I want to relay it

Doing the most, but I move to my own cadence

Remembering all of the doubters who said I would never make it

I’m still trying to be patience but a playa is tired of waiting

She asked me why I should pull up on her, I told her it’s history in the making.

I hope people never insult my intelligence, continuing to lie to me anyway

Like I don’t know the backstory, but I go along with the shit anyway

Let the folks dig their grave, because I’m gonna bury them anyway

Say you keep it 100, but I’m never gonna believe you anyway

I’m in the zone, focus is clear as the water in the Caribbean

I been gone too long, probably wondering where have I been

Well, I been working on myself. That’s the short answer to the question

Too many late night thinking sessions, weeding out all the misdirection

But I’m here, for how long? We just don’t know yet.

But I’m working out my problems, so don’t be alarmed when I do flex.

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See the Light

Sitting in my new apartment, still got furniture to finish

Best part about life is when people mind their business

They’re wondering if I’ve done it, they ready to get livid

Not stopping for a moment to think if I actually did it

I’m so over the politics, because I don’t think I’ve done enough

Looking at my bank account, I haven’t made enough

Just left a room where half of those guys were rich as fuck

Serves as motivation that my dreams don’t need to be given up

Sometimes I crave the solitude, sometimes I fear it

Sometimes I smell success, other times I don’t feel anywhere near it

It’s weird, how these ups and downs can get so volatile

Don’t know which way you’re feeling so you just crack a smile

Dealing with writer’s block so you don’t even know how to get the feelings out

Trying to do things the right way but you’re considering the other route

Because you got bills to pay, continue to put food in mouths

So conflicted even the voices in my head cuss me out

Instagram likes aren’ something you can put on your resume

Afraid to tell your mom because she’ll shoot down the dreams anyway

You know she means well but the negativity is too much to take

All you need to hear is “don’t worry, I got it babe”

But you can’t even get that

Everything you invested in her, you won’t get back

New girls in the pictures but they’re too far away to be for real

Game’s getting ugly, you not even sure you want to play the field.

It sucks but sometimes that’s just the way of life

A man isn’t lost just because he took the route that lets him see the sights

Because back then they didn’t see me right, hell they ain’t even see me, right?

I took more L’s than Floyd ever did on his TV fights

I know my worth & earned my stripes, now I’m taxing like a Yeezy price

I ain’t trying to hear a pip from the background folks, I ain’t Gladys knight

Y’all been sleeping on me, it was like y’all was glad it’s night

Now open your eyes, pull back your blinds and see the light.

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The Age of Spin

Are you a good person, a bad person or somewhere in the middle?

We live in a society where everyone hates playing second fiddle

And trying to get to know people is like solving a riddle

So no wonder many of us are so non-committal

No one wants to deal with insecurities so I work on them on my own

Because we’re taught to clean up before inviting people in our home

And it’s gonna be a scary sight once I finally get in my zone

Because people think they can play me like I’m some sort of trombone

Don’t be a good girl for me, I don’t need it, I promise

Seems I got farther when I lied to folks than I did being honest

When everything is swirling around me? I just need to find me some solace

I ain’t a rookie, I’m a vet so don’t play me like I’m a novice.

Anti-social extrovert, never heard a phrase describe me so perfect

Laundry list full of flaws, do you still believe I am worth it?

I been going so hard, even to fall asleep I need a permit

I always knew I was dope, why did I need others to confirm it?

Why do we seek validation from those who aren’t on our level?

Or aren’t on our wavelength? Why do we assume they are better?

Why do we assume someone is crazy if their opinions are different?

Why are we so quick to argue and so slow to listen?

We got all of this hatred, but where is the love?

Folks dying off of bad dope, but who is all supplying the drugs?

I ask too many questions, that’s what people told me

Maybe I’m just not willing to believe what people showed me

Used to want a relationship so much I just rushed in

That was a bad move fam, this just in

Opened up my heart for love and ended up inviting distrust in

We always discuss how we’re gonna love, we never discuss when.

Pride comes before a downfall, and they say love will get you killed

They want you to be honest but penalize you for being real

Society full of contradictions, we live in the age of spin

Round and round we go until we spin the wheel again

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