I ain’t ready for a relationship right now, at least with the wrong one
Looking back at all the things that I’ve done
Like, I knew I didn’t like her like that, why did I stick around?
I wonder if she’s picking up the hints that I’m putting down
I had people who I was willing to give the world to, throw it in my face.
I was thinking buffet, she was content with a taste
But was I rushing into things? Probably, I think I know that now.
I was just in a race to have someone hold me down
What’s a king if he doesn’t have the queen to move around?
And when the pawns fell, the castle walls came crumbling down
I switch from humble to arrogant in shockingly quick intervals
I treat these pieces like in-depth oprah interviews
Bearing pieces of my soul for the world to see
It’s laughable, I used to want people to notice me
Now it would be nice to have some anonymity for once
When they’re used to the truth wrapped in lies, they might think you’re a little blunt
But I never was here for your silly little stunts
And when I meet these people it’s like we’re both putting up a front
We’re both guarded, scared to repeat mistakes from my past
I’m learning lessons from my ex’s, she still has issues with her dad
We both try to forget it so we can share a laugh
Suppress the issue until weeks later, it springs up like what is that?
And that’s what I’m afraid of, one of my deepest fears
Is that I’ll forget how to be in a relationship after these couple years
Situationships sound cool in theory but never in practice
There’s a woman who wants my whole heart but I can’t let her have it
And she knows it too and even though she might put on the happy face
She’s a woman that I know isn’t ok with second place
That’s the position she has to play right now, getting my career off the ground
Not only are these important long term, they’re the priority right now
What if I want to move for a new career?
That decision becomes harder with a girlfriend here
Someone might ride through in the night & snatch my chick like Paul Revere
But that’s the chance I take while I’m trying to climb these tiers
If you own your truth, they can’t use it against you.
Hurt people, hurt people. We just know they never meant to.