They always say I’m here if you need me
But I was always taught that you don’t want to look needy
Graduated from hungry and made it to greedy
Trying to figure out the best way to convince this world to feed me
I’m always under pressure whether internal or external
Not getting much sleep, does God think that I’m nocturnal?
I’ve taken my blows, felt like I got beat up by Ike Turner
So I let these words fly all up in my own journal
It’s not just a journal, It’s a chronicle
Where I’m at now, if you check the stats should be impossible
So the fact I want more should be illogical
But God never said that the truth had to be probable
Been doubted since I was born 3 weeks early in the hospital
Turning up the heat on me, want me to melt like a popsicle
Dealing with internal voices saying I’m not good enough
Looking at my friends and wondering if my time is up
I almost ran out of money, I need better luck
Or a better job, I can’t even afford to get my credit up
Every thing I do somehow feels like it’s not enough
When is God going to bless me with the Midas touch?
God and I talk but the amount of time has been lacking
Maybe that is the reason for all of the things to happen
People want to kill my dreams, they’ve hired their assassins
You can’t take this hunger from me, it’s like I been fasting
But the paralysis of choice, can smother your inner voice
Driving in an impala, it should be a Rolls Royce.
Made so many bad decisions, now I’m afraid to make any
When it comes to f*cking up, that’s something I’ve done plenty
Used to drown my thoughts in liquor but I got tired of the henny
Had me on the ground feeling worthless like an old penny
I know I need therapy but I can’t afford the bill
I got to keep dreaming because my nightmares give me the chills
I always wonder what would happen if I got killed
Would you lie and say you loved me or would you keep it real?
He was alright, he was there, he was cool, and we kicked it
But now that he’s gone, my life won’t feel much different
Is it too late to make an impact, did I miss it?
Are the inner workings of my mind too explicit?
I got to get it regardless, can’t let this gem tarnish
Long hard road, Lord help me remember why I started
Not only why I started but exactly where I started
Because I got to get it regardless for my dearly departed
Who were gathered here today but on a different plane
Who didn’t sacrifice their time/effort for me just to be plain
They ask, Why are you so money hungry? You can’t buy happiness
I tell them, let me decide that after I have it then.